What if they threw a No-Name Tournament and the Nobodies came, waggled, collapsed, rallied and made all sorts of history?
For one thing, it would make anyone who said the PGA Championship was destined to be a snooze-fest look pretty stupid. No-Name Sunday turned into one of the more entertaining sports spectacles of the year.
For that we can thank Jason Bradley and Keegan Dufner.
I mean, Bradley Dufner and Jason Keegan.
And stupid me promises that?s the last fun I?ll have with name recognition.
The star was the dashing young American winner, Keegan Bradley.
Key word ? American.
It had been a record six majors since a Yank won. If you bet that Keegan Bradley would break the streak, immediately quit your job and move to the Las Vegas Strip.
The PGA?s other star was our heartbroken runner-up, Jason Dufner. Those two put on as good a show as anything Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson ever managed.
Good Lord, if Tiger and Phil had done what the No-Names did, guys like me would have been comparing it to Ali-Frazier or the Lunar Landing.
I still think golf would be better off with a leading man than a bunch of capable supporting actors. But when the actors perform like they did at the Atlanta Athletic Club, it reminds you how bafflingly enchanting golf can be.
Imagine a quarterback who hadn?t completed a pass in three months becoming the Super Bowl MVP. Heck, imagine Brett Favre winning Wimbledon. That?s close to the stunt Dufner almost pulled.
He?d entered 148 tournaments as a pro and won approximately zero. The frumpy former walk-on at Auburn hadn?t even made a cut since May.
Then Dufner goes out and plays as if he?s Ben Hogan. Except that Hogan would have been more animated, even if he has been dead 14 years.
Dufner?s embalmed demeanor made him all the more interesting. His reaction was the same whether he hit it in the hole or hit it in the water.
For 3.7 rounds, he hit it mostly in the hole. Dufner had a five-shot lead with four holes to go, then pfffft. His disintegration was almost as riveting as Bradley?s resurrection.
The 25-year-old rookie triple-bogeyed the 15th hole. Golfers do not win tournaments, much less majors, after triple bogeys on the back nine. Bradley?s comeback was partly due to Dufner, but he also came right back and birdied two of the final three holes.
Back to the history.
Bradley is just the second player since 1913 to win a major in his first attempt. Judging by his talent and moxie, he?ll probably have a much a better career than Ben ?I Barely Have a Name? Curtis, who won the 2003 British Open.
Then there?s that whole U.S. drought thing. I wouldn?t put Keegan Bradley up there with Charles Lindbergh, but he did give our national golf ego a long-awaited boost. If only he hadn?t done it with a belly putter.
Long putters are supposed to be used by yippy old guys wearing white knee socks, not swashbuckling young bombers. Or maybe that?s the kind of closed-mindedness that made me think No-Name golf can?t please a crowd.
Long putters are losing their geezer stigma, so it was just a matter of time until someone using one won a major.
I just think it would have been more appropriate if 42-year-old doughboy Darren Clarke had won the British Open using one of the broomsticks.
Now we?ll probably see a run on belly putters. We?ll also probably see golfers trying Dufner?s exaggerated pre-shot waggle, where he looks as if he?s in a batter?s box timing pitches.
Even after staggering in with a tie after 72 holes, he had some waggling theatrics left. Both players hit approach shots within five feet on the first playoff hole. Dufner missed his putt and Bradley made, and that was essentially that.
Dufner did throw in one final birdie on No. 18, only the fifth one of the day on that monstrous hole. But all Bradley needed was to stick his putter into his belly and two-putt from 15 feet.
?I can?t believe it,? he said.
?It?s a little disappointing,? Dufner said. ?But there?s a lot to be learned from this.?
Yeah, like golf doesn?t need superstars to be captivating, though I still think it helps. Bradley and Dufner gave No-Names a good name on Sunday.
Now I think I?ll go buy a long putter and try to knock that revelation into my head.
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